Missing You
by moony1
Summary: My very first Duo/Hilde fic. Hilde has disappeared somewhere and all Duo has is a note she left him.


Missing You

By Moony

Song by: John Waite

"Eleven months, four days," Duo sighed to himself as he looked at the calendar that was held on the refrigerator by a mango magnet. The calendar had two golden retriever puppies in a basket in a flower field. Duo marked a big X on the sixteenth box with a red marker. He turned and popped the lid back on the marker. 

He looked around his kitchen. Well it wasn't just his, It was still Hilde's to him, even if she wasn't there in it with him. The kitchen was a small room with counters on two sides of the outer walls, connecting at a corner. They were a light green marble with a window with dark green curtains above the midpoint of each one. On the one facing the side of the house was a double sink right underneath the window. The faucet was a single handle with a red circle on the left and a blue circle on the right. Across from the sink was the refrigerator, which was sitting at the end of the half wall. On the other side of the refrigerator was a shiny wooden square table that was pushed up against the wall with two matching chairs facing the wall. One was pushed in. The other pushed out and turned away from the other just slightly. 

Duo walked out of room, hurt by the memories echoing faintly in his mind. The phone rang, which started Duo as he was leaving the room. He turned back and headed over to the phone. It was hanging on the wall to the left of the window with the sink under it. 

He picked it up and said cheerfully, "Hello?"

"Hey, Duo I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me and Paula. We were thinking two against two I mean… Oh, man I'm sorry…" the man trailed off.

"No, man that's been over and finished, now I get the house all to myself," Duo replied happily. "Just have Paula bring a sister or something. I'll be fine."

"Happy to hear it, Duo," the man said; though he sounded a bit disbelieving. "I'll talk to Paula and have her bring a friend."

"Thanks man," Duo replied, keeping his happy go lucky demeanor. "Oh, what time?"

"Same time same ally," the man replied.

"Okay Allan," Duo said. "See ya then. Bye." He hung up the phone. He looked at it sitting there on the wall in silence. 

__

Every time I think of you I always catch my breath

And I'm still standing here and you're miles away 

And I'm wondering why you left

Hilde had been gone for eleven months and four days. Why she left was the greatest mysteries to Duo. He didn't understand why. It hurt so much to see her leave. She had been the first person he had loved since he was at the Maxwell church and now she was gone. Duo, however couldn't forget, couldn't stop hurting, couldn't stop loving, couldn't stop hoping that maybe one day she would return, even after all the time that had passed. 

There's a storm that raging through my frozen heart tonight.

Duo gripped the searing wheel hard as he drove to meet his friends at the bowling ally. Even seeing them reminded him of Hilde. She was the one who introduced him to them. She lived on the American colony, though her parents were German, so Duo felt quite comfortable around other Americans and made friends quickly. 

His best friend in the group was a guy named Allan. Allan was a short man about five or six years older than Duo, who was twenty-four. He was slightly plump with a light brown receding hairline. He had a charming, happy attitude that few middle class men had. Allan was a mechanic, so he and Duo also interacted in business (that was how Hilde originally met him). 

Allan was married to a tall woman named Pollyanna, normally called Paula. She was equal in height to her husband, who was 5'8". She still had her slim figure, though she had birthed two children into the world. She had dirt brown hair, foggy green eyes and one of the prettiest smiles ever.

Duo loved being with them. They were wonderful people. It was a new and welcomed thing having normal friends. Duo still kept in touch with the other Gundam pilots and the ladies, but he had quit the Perventers to lead a normal life and severed the strong bond he had with the people from the Eve Wars. No major emergencies had come up for him to move out of his lifestyle and he was, for once in his life at peace, until he lost Hilde. 

Duo turned his brown Chevy truck into the bowling ally parking lot. There was quite a crowd tonight. Duo finally found a parking spot and headed into the building with a large flashing bowling pen shining above the entrance with a heavy black bag in his hand. Duo heard laughter and the crashing of pens and the rolling of balls the glazed over wood down towards their adversaries. People were talking, drinking, eating, cheering and some were exchanging discreet kisses or embraces. Duo looked around for Allan or Paula. He spotted the two at the end of the ally. Duo then walked up to the counter and got some bowling shoes. He headed over to his two friends. They noticed him and he grinned brightly.

"Duo!" Paula cried happily. "It's good to see you! How have you been?"

"I've been great!" Duo laughed as the woman embraced him. "How are the kids?"

"Oh!" Paula groaned and put her hand on her forehead. "Don't get me started about those two. They're at their grandparent's right now."

"Lucky Allan," Duo said slyly. Paula gave him a shocked smile, then punched his shoulder. 

"Come on, we haven't started our game yet. My friend Cynthia should be here soon," Paula said and led him to Allan who was sitting behind the primitive bowling computer typing in Duo's name. Duo sat down the black bag in his hand and unzipped it from its middle. He pulled out at black bowling ball with purple streaks in it like a huge marble ball. He turned it and put his thumb, pointer finger, and middle finger in the holes and held it up to examine it.

"There's a scratch," Allan said as he tried to look over Duo's broad shoulder.

"Where?" Duo cried in total fear. He started turning the ball frantically, trying to find the blemish. 

"Got cha!" Allan laughed. "Some times I wonder about you and that bowling ball."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Duo asked, agitated with the joke just played on him. 

"Well, I wonder if it's why you haven't gotten a girl friend in almost a year or is it because of a short blue head?" Allan asked.

"I told you, man," Duo said and put the ball back in the bag. "That's over. I just don't want to use a girl as a rebound. I want to be sure. I don't want to be hurt again."

"I know man, but it's been a year! Isn't that long enough?"

"If Paula left you out of the blue would you be dating in less than a year?" Duo asked.

"No… but the thing is we're married," Allan replied.

"It doesn't make a difference. Love is love," Duo said. Allen just shrugged and didn't bring the subject up for the rest of the night.

The night continued and Cynthia showed up. She was a tall blond woman with shining blue eyes. Her hair was almost as long as Duo's, though it would have been very hard to tell because it was in a bun. She was always smiling, sweet to the core. She was any man's perfect woman, but even though Duo liked her, he couldn't see himself dating her. 

'Maybe I don't know her well enough. I really should give her a chance,' Duo thought. He was endlessly trying to convince himself that he should start over, move on, but deep inside he knew he never ever could. He was doomed, cursed forever to be in love with Hilde, no matter how long she would be gone, even if it meant forever. 

Duo was going to get a beer at the concession stand when he saw two women that Hilde had been close to talking about her.

"Hilde was the cutest girl in the colony. There's no doubt and she was the sweetest too. I miss having her around to talk to. I haven't seen or heard from her in so long! She just up and left. I can't believe she left that man, what was his name…"

"Duo?"

"Yes, Duo… I think he's still upset about her leaving."

Duo smiled as he listened to the conversation until he heard the end, then it faded quickly. How many people could see through his act? No, he didn't miss her… oh hell, yes he did and everyone knew.

Duo was watching Cynthia bowl. She wasn't too good. Hilde was the best at bowling. She was the only woman he had ever met who actually put up a challenge in the game. Duo sighed loudly and tried to wiggle into a comfortable position on the hard plastic orange chairs. He remembered the first time he and Hilde played. He had been sure she was a push over. She bowled a strike the first time she was up and Duo shrugged it off as luck, but when she did it again Duo was a little surprised. The game ended up being intense with a few bets like loser had to do dishes for a month and so on. In the end Duo was doing dishes for a month and he never took her bowling talent for granted ever again.

"… A strike! Duo?" Paula said. "Didn't you see? Cynthia got a strike!"

"Oh," Duo said startled and looked up at Cynthia's beautiful smile. "Great job!" Duo didn't notice Paula's unhappy look. 

Allan was driving home with Paula in the passenger seat looking out the window.

"He hasn't got over her yet. All he does is think about her. I remember when we first met him, he was loud, exhilarated and the life of the party, but it's like she took his spirit when she left…" Paula sighed. 

"I know, Paula, but we can't do anything about it. He loves her and until he wants to move on he will be just like he is now," Allan said.

"What about his old friends? The ones Hilde told us about. I wonder if we find a way to get a hold of them they could help out," Paula said. 

"We shouldn't butt in like that, Paula," Allan replied. "It's not our place…"

"Then whose is it, Allan? I can't just sit around and watch him live in a bubble his whole life!"

"Paula…"

__

I hear your name in certain circles 

And it always makes me smile

I spend my time thinking about you 

And it's almost driving me wild

Duo was sitting in his kitchen looking at the phone across the room. He sat wishing that it would ring and be she. He wished that she would apologize for all and just come home. 

'Brinnnng' the phone cried. Duo jumped up, a bit startled and excited. He ran over to the phone and ripped it up to his ear. 

"Hello?" he cried into the receiver. 

"Hi Duo," a woman's voice said. "Do you know who this is?"

"Sally?" Duo cried a bit surprised and disappointed.

"Yes, how have you been?" She asked.

"Good," Duo lied cheerfully. "What world emergency is happening that you need the _Great Destroyer_?"

"Do I need some mission just to call an old friend?" Sally asked.

"Oh," Duo said with a laugh. "No. I just surprised."

"I wanted to let you know Miss Relena will be coming to your colony for a convention and a lot of us will be with her and we wanted to see you," Sally explained.

"I haven't heard of a convention," Duo said surprised, "but all well. I'd be glad to see you all. When will you be here?"

"On Saturday. The convention is at eight in the morning until eleven and then we all intended on spending the rest of the day with you until the fight back at nine that night," Sally explained.

"Sounds great. When you get here call me and we'll meet at my house," Duo replied. "Oh, by the way who all is coming?"

"Wufei and myself, Quatre because he was also invited to the convention, Miss Une and Merimeha Miss Relena and Heero."

"Sounds great. It'll be nice to see you all again. Are Noin and Zechs still on Mars?"

"Yes, we're working on a group to go after them. It's almost ready for colonization."

"Man, time flies…" Duo sighed.

"Doesn't it?" Sally agreed. "But I have to go. We have a big banquet happening tonight and I need to go over some of the safety precautions one more time. I'll be in touch."

"Okay, bye Sally," Duo said happily.

"Goodbye Duo," Sally replied and Duo hung up the phone. 

Sally turned to Relena Daralin. 

"So?" she asked.

"He took the offer," Sally said smiling. 

"Good. I'm so glad those friends of his told called Heero and told him about how Duo's been doing," Relena said with a relieved sigh. "Now we can see for ourselves."

"Yes… But we may not like what we see," Sally said.

"It's a chance we must take and try to remedy if we can. Has anyone found Hilde?"

"No. She's done very well covering her tracks. I bet she figured someone would start looking for her," Sally said. "It'll be her choice to come back I suppose."

"I only wish she could see the heart ache she's causing Duo…"

"Me too."

__

And there's a heart that breaking 

Down this long distance line tonight

"And by this we will further the growth of education in the L2 colony with your vote next month on the Future campaign," Relena said strongly in her speech. "We need your support and your children need your support on this for everyone's future. Thank you." The crowd burst out clapping whistling and whooping. She walked away from the podium and headed stage right to hide behind the red velvet curtains. She gave a loud sigh of relief in front of Sally and Lady Une.

"Do you think they bought it?" Relena asked.

"With that applause I'd say so," Sally said.

"We have a good chance of getting this colony's vote," Lady Une said with less optimism than Sally.

"What do you think, Heero?" Relena asked to the shadows. "You always have a gut feeling about politics." Heero stepped out, a taller man with light new forming wrinkles of wisdom forming on his face; his hair still tossed wildly. He was wearing a suit, his arms crossed over his chest.

"We have them," Heero replied. "We have all the American colonies' support." Relena smiled with a nod.

"Now lets forget the Future Campaign and go find Wufei, Quatre, and Merimeah. I am eager to see Duo," Relena said with childlike enthusiasm. Everyone nodded in agreement and walked away from the stage to find their other friends. 

Duo was excited and eager to see his old friends. How they got his number he didn't know, but they were a branch of the world's secret service, so Duo didn't bother consuming himself with the question. He looked around his house to see if there was anything out of place. He knew that Hilde would have wanted the house to be spotless for Relena. 

Bung, bong! The door declared the guests. Duo walked quickly over to the door and opened it. 

Relena was smiling brightly in the front with Quatre to the side of her, just behind. Beside him was Sally then in the back Lady Une stood with an almost grown up Merimeah. Then there were Wufei and Heero lagging behind, pretending to be disinterested in seeing their old comrade. 

"Hello Duo!" Relena cried happily. 

"Hi everyone!" Duo replied. "Come in. It's a little messy." He opened the door farther and stepped aside, letting Relena come in first. She looked around the little living room. The front door was on the left of the room, looking in. On the same wall as the front door to her right were two huge windows that were almost from floor to ceiling with cream drapes covering the opening, that matched the sand wallpaper. There were ferns, aloe Vera, and palms in front of the drapes on a long wooden table. On the wall to Relena's far right was a large wooden bookshelf with books on it. Some were leaning, others were erect and some were lying down. They looked a bit dusty. The bookshelf reached to the top of the ceiling, but only made up a forth of the wall. Next to it was a 40 inch TV and next to it an old stereo system with a record player. That covered most of the wall, except the small spaces between each object. Right in front of the TV was a dark brown couch. It looked comfy and well kept. Right next to it was a recliner that matched. Between the couch and TV was a wooden coffee table with a black glass in its center as well as a vase and freshly picked flowers on top of it. On the wall across Relena were pictures of people she didn't know, except the picture of everyone taken a few days after the 196 battle. Relena figured they were Duo's new friends and maybe some of Hilde's family. The wall went on until it reached an opening that was a hallway down to the bedrooms, Relena supposed. To her left was a wall that went only three-quarters of the way then ended abruptly into another room. It must have been the kitchen and Dinning room. The room was lovely and considerably well kept for a man and Duo no less. She didn't pause as she walked in to allow everyone to enter as well. She stood between the recliner and the long table that held the plants. She examined them and saw they too were well kept. Quatre joined her and bent down so only she could hear.

"It's not what I expected," he said. "It's clean…" Relena grinned and nodded her agreement. 

"Maybe his friends were right about him not being his real self," Relena replied in the same low tone. Quatre leaned his head up.

"You have nice plants," Quatre said to Duo, trying to cover up any suspicion anyone had about his little chat with Relena. 

"Thanks," Duo said with a grin. 

"Your house is lovely!" Sally said. "I would love to raise a family here." She glanced at Wufei who wasn't paying her any attention. 

"Onna…" Wufei said under his breath and looked into the kitchen. It too was very well kept. This worried Wufei, who had spent some time with Duo and knew he was the greatest slob ever created, but Wufei didn't say nor do anything to show his concern. 

Heero was standing at the doorway looking in as Duo explained how he came to own his plants to Relena and Quatre. Lady Une and Merimeah were looking at the pictures on the wall. Sally was admiring the old record player and Wufei was just glancing around at things, uninterested. He didn't expect Duo to be so bad… owning plants? Heero never pegged Duo to be that type. Something was up with his old comrade and he knew who was behind it. 

Heero knew only a woman could make man act like Duo was. They were the worst than disease any man could be infected with and yet they seemed more than willing to be exposed to them. Heero wanted to find this disease and make her see her effect on a once healthy man. She was killing him slowly and painfully.

'Worse than expected,' Lady Une thought as she looked over pictures with her adopted daughter at her side. At least she had a relic of the past at her side to remind her of the person she once had. Merimeah was a spitting image of her father now. She even had some of his habits. She loved rose scented bubble bath and other little quarks that only Lady Une knew about her lost lover. However, Lady Une had grown when Treize died. He had given her something to live for… he had at least said goodbye. Lady Une didn't want to think badly of the young girl who had done this to Duo, but she was having a hard time not to.

Sally had heard the remorse in Duo's voice when she was on the phone with him a week ago and it was confirmed by just looking in his eyes as he spoke to Relena and Quatre. There was something missing in him. That twinkle that she loved so much was gone. He hadn't cracked a joke since they stepped in the door and that smile plastered on his face was as fake as a lying politician's and she was sure Quatre and Relena, being in politics could see right through it. That girl, Hilde was gaining less affection by the second with Sally. How dare she hurt poor Duo like this!

"So I was thinking we could go out and eat. I'm not the best cook in the world," Duo said and looked around at the group.

"That sounds lovely," Relena said with a smile. 

"We will trust you with picking out the place to go, since you live here and would know the best places," Quatre added. 

"Then let me go and get dressed. I feel a little underdressed with all of you so glamorous," Duo said and grinned. "Make yourselves at home. You can play a record, Sally if you want. You know how to use it don't you?"

"This old fossil?" Sally said and laughed. "Of course! I own one too!" Duo's grin widened. 

"Okay then, I leave it in your hands," Duo said and walked down the hall to the first room on the right and shut the door. Relena looked over at Sally with wide eyes.

"I didn't know…" she said softly. 

"None of us could have," Sally said in a whisper as she fiddled with a record.

"He still has pictures of Hilde and apparently her family up too," Lady Une added.

"He must have really loved her," Merimeah added to herself, but it seemed to startle everyone else in the room, though they knew it was absolutely true.

"He's going to kill himself," Heero piped in. "You can't live long with a mask on all the time. I know."

"Well, let's just take him out to dinner and pretend like nothing's wrong. If he wants to confide in one of us, he will," Quatre said. "Now no more talking about it tonight. We're here to be friends for Duo, not his therapists." Everyone became silent just as a song came on. Sally looked over at everyone. 

"You can't be the originals," she grinned and held up the cover of the record. 'Kansas' was written on it. The song had a guitar solo at the beginning that played the same group of notes over again, but they still were catching in a gloomy sort of way. By the end of the song everyone was down in the dumps at the truth the song spoke.

"What was that called?" Relena asked, trying not to cry.

"Dust in the Wind," Sally said with a grin, pleased with the effect the song had on the virgin audience. 

"Oh," everyone said. 

"Yeah, it is really good," said Duo, who was leaning against the wall with the pictures on it. He was wearing black kackies and a gray sweater. He was very handsome looking.

"How long have you been there?" Relena asked discreetly.

"Oh, not long. For the first chorus," Duo explained.

"Oh," everyone said in unison, glad he hadn't over heard their conversation earlier. 

"Well, what are we all standing around here for?" Duo said cheerfully, almost like his old self. He pushed himself off the wall and headed to the door. "Let's get out of here!"

****

The night was filled with reminiscing of the old days, light jokes that had been shared then seemed oh so distant and oh so funny all at the same time. Duo was caught up on the latest news. Trowa's marriage and retirement from the Preventers, Quatre's movement into politics with Relena. Heero's finding his humanity once again. It all was truly what Duo needed. He loved hearing his old friends' voices. Their laughter, their seriousness, their love for him. Duo hadn't realized how much he truly missed being with them. 

And yet, seeing Heero and Relena, with their obscure love for each other give each other hinting glances caused pain in Duo's heart like a knife slowly slicing him from the inside. Oh he missed her…

"So Duo," Sally said with a bright smile from across the dinner table. "How's your business going?"

"Good I guess," Duo said with a sigh. "I'm not used to running a business, you know? I was trained on the streets, not in business school."

"I understand what you mean," Relena said and got a look from everyone. "I mean I understand being thrown into a circumstance that you weren't prepared for." Everyone nodded and Relena gave out a small sigh of relief. 

"So any new hot flames?" Merimeah asked eagerly and rested her elbows on the table with her chin resting on the back of her entwined palms, which were all knocked down by Lady Une. She gave her adopted daughter a stern look for her bad manners. 

"No," Duo laughed. "No time. You might understand that too, Relena." Relena blushed.

"Oh, Relena gets around," Sally joked. 

"Yeah, with Heero on her heels," Wufei muttered under his breath. Everyone laughed except Heero, who turned a slight shade of red from anger and embarrassment while he twisted his napkin, and Relena who felt like she was going to die with embarrassment. 

"I can't believe it!" Duo cried when some of the laughter subsided. "Wufei made a joke!" It was Wufei's turn to be embarrassed. The night went on in the same attitude and light heartedness. Duo knew he hadn't felt this happy since Hilde left. He had forgotten how good it felt. But the night ended all too soon for Duo. The Preventers and the Foreign vice Minister had to catch a shuttle and they couldn't stay any longer. 

After everyone had gotten into the limo to take them to the Shuttle port Relena walked over to Duo before he went to his truck.

"Duo?" Relena said with concern. "I know it's none of my business and I hope you aren't angry at me for asking or bringing it up, but you are a friend of mine and I care about you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, what is it, My Lady?" Duo said with his car keys rattling as they hung down from his hand. 

"Duo, you haven't been doing too good, have you? Mentally I mean, since Hilde left have you?" Relena asked, looking up at him with her honest eyes. Duo gave her a shocked look.

"I, er, that _is_ personal…but I can't lie to you, even if I've been lying to myself and everyone else. I need to talk to some one…"

"Then I'll stay for a while."

__

I aint missing you at all 

Since you've been gone

I aint missing you, 

No matter what my friends say.

Duo couldn't believe Relena was willing to miss her flight and what was even more shocking was that Heero didn't stay behind with her. They rode home in Duo's car in silence.

Duo opened the door to his house and pushed the door open and allowed Relena to go in first. She walked in and turned to wait for Duo. 

"I'm not a psychologist, and I'm not going to pretend I know anything about it," Relena said in a diplomatic tone. "But I do want to be your friend, so I'm going to listen to you because I know you haven't let anyone listen since she left." 

"Okay…" Duo said. "Do you want to sit?"

"Sure," Relena said with a smile and walked over to the couch and sat down. Duo followed her and sat beside her.

"Do you know why she left?" Relena asked.

"Not really," Duo said, in a perplexed manner. "That night we had made love…" Duo stopped abruptly, realizing he shouldn't speak so openly to Relena, who was wide eyed.

"G, Go on," Relena said, a bit shaken.

"Um, then when I woke up, she was gone. I found a note. I'll go get it." Duo stood up and walked down the hall out of Relena's view. He returned with a folded piece of paper in his hand. He handed it to her and sat down again. Relena unfolded the light yellow paper and began reading…

Duo,

I'm sorry. I'll probably never be able to explain why I'm gone, but please don't come after me and please forgive me.

With love and sorrow,

Hilde

Relena stared at the paper a while, tying to read into it as much as possible, but there was nothing Relena could decipher.

"I've read that note maybe a million times and found nothing each time," Duo said. 

"Is this why you didn't go after her?" Relena asked.

"I went after her," Duo said with a cynical laugh. "I put everything on hold for almost a month trying to find her. I can't believe how well she covered her tracks. It's almost like someone helped her."

"Did you ever ask Heero to help?" Relena said.

"Him, Quatre, Trowa, even Wufei… Nothing," Duo replied. 

"Oh," Relena replied, thinking as hard as she could.

"I'll just have to wait for her to come back," Duo said.

"And if she doesn't?" Relena asked and looked up from her trance into Duo's violet eyes. 

"I don't know…" Duo sighed and looked away from Relena. 

"Duo, I'm not going to tell you to move on or tell you to stop loving Hilde, because no one can tell you to do something like that, but please, plan for the worst," Relena said and took Duo's hand off of his knee into hers. Duo looked back at Relena.

"If she comes home you won't have to worry about the worst, but if she doesn't…"

"I know Relena," Duo said in reply. "I know." Relena smiled lovingly and put her other hand over Duo's that was in her other hand. "Come on. I'll show you to your room. I know you're tired." Duo said as he stood up with Relena's hands still in his. Relena nodded and he held her hand all the way back to her room. 

"Thank you, Duo. You are a very brave man. I know you miss her," Relena said at her new bedroom door. Duo sighed and turned to his own room. 

__

You don't know how desperate I've become 

And it looks like I'm losing the fight

Relena was gone when Duo woke up. He found her note on his refrigerator. Heero had come for her about five that morning. He hadn't left after all… Duo shrugged and pulled the paper off the refrigerator and crumpled it in his hand. He dumped it in the trashcan to his right as he left the kitchen. He went down his small hall and turned into the bathroom. He turned the faucet on and peeled his shirt off. Duo turned and looked at himself in the mirror as he unbraided his hair. After he was completely undressed he stepped into the shower and let the lukewarm water flow over him. 

Duo put his hand on the glass door and put his head down with his eyes closed thinking, remembering. He squeezed his eyes tighter and tried to repress the dry lump that was forming in his throat. Then as all his emotions collided together he let out a gasping cry and fell to the ground and began weeping shamelessly as the water flowed over him. 

__

And there's a message that I'm sending out

Like a telegraph to your soul 

And I can't bridge this distance 

Stop this heartbreak overload 

I aint missing you at all…

Duo came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand as he dabbed his wet hair. He walked back into the front room.

"You've changed it," a voice sitting on the couch said. Duo's eyes widened and his hands fell from his hair. There she sat looking at him from their couch. It was if she were a ghost. Duo wasn't sure if he was hallucinating.

"Hilde?" he managed to whisper. She stood and smiled a weary smile at him. 

"Hello Duo." Duo wanted to run to her and hug her and kiss every inch of her petite body, but he stood motionless. "It looks like you've been doing well. I've never seen this house so nice before. Have you hired someone or do you have a girl living here with you?"

"No," Duo replied to both. "I did this." 

"Oh," Hilde said surprised. "It looks good." 

"Where have you been?" Duo asked. 

"Around. I thought I'd see the world, you know?" Hilde said in a nonchalant way.

"You could have told me that," Duo replied. 

"Sorry, Duo, but I had to do this on my own. I had to find myself."  
"Did you?"

"Did I what?"  
"Find yourself," Duo said, trying to control his temper. 

"I think so," Hilde replied. "That's why I came back. I wanted to get my stuff. I have a place on Earth now."

"What?" Duo said, letting his temper be revealed. 

"Yeah, I'm getting married, Duo," Hilde said, now a little upset at Duo's reaction. 

"You're what?"

"Married, Duo. You'd love him. He's a great guy," Hilde said and looked out the window. "I'm going to turn over my share of the business to you. It'll be all yours. I don't even want my part from this past year." 

"I don't believe this," Duo said and ran his fingers through his still damp bangs, then realized he was still in a towel. "You mean I spent the last year of my life on nothing?" Hilde turned and looked at him.

"What do you mean nothing? You've made this place look great! When I pulled up I wasn't even sure I was at the right place."

"I'm not talking about that," Duo said with aggravation. "You don't understand, I'm thinking you never really did. I waited for you. I worked my ass off on all of this for you! I always thought you'd come back and, and… but I guess everyone was right… Get your stuff and leave your key here." Duo turned back down the hall and headed to his room.

"Duo?" Hilde called after him. He ignored her and slammed the door. He dressed as fast as he could and braided his hair sloppily then threw on his favorite black ball cap and walked out of his room. He saw Hilde with a box slowly pulling pictures off the wall. He passed by her without a glance and walked out of the house. He jumped into his truck and headed to the nearest bar. 

****

"I can't believe I did that," Relena said with a light laugh. "I couldn't even see the people in the front row!" 

"Well, just get them and let's go. We have to catch the shuttle in an hour and I'm hungry," Heero said sternly. 

"Okay," Relena said and knocked on Duo's door. She didn't notice that his truck wasn't in the driveway or that there was a different car there. The door opened and Relena's mouth dropped despite herself. Heero's eyes widened just slightly. "Hilde!"

"Miss Relena!" Hilde cried. "What are you doing here!"

"I, I left my contacts in the guestroom," Relena explained. "Where's Duo?"

"Um, he stepped out somewhere," Hilde said and opened the door, stepping aside to let them in. "You stayed her last night?"

"Yes, but it's not what you think," Relena replied nervously. 

"Oh, don't worry about it, Relena," Hilde said with a laugh. "I don't mind if you're sleeping with Duo." Relena and Heero both turned and looked at Hilde as if she were mad.

"I thought that…" Relena whispered. "Duo said that…"

"No," Hilde sighed. "When I left that was it. I thought he realized that. I'm just getting my stuff and fixing some financial issues before my wedding."

"Your getting married?" Relena asked. 

"To who?" Heero asked.

"Oh, you wouldn't know him. He's not a celebrate or anything like that."

"How could you?" Relena said in a low voice. "Didn't you know he waited for you? He's spent all his time waiting for you, missing you! He put his whole life on hold for a whole year for you and you come back and do this to him!" 

"I can't help that he didn't get over me!" Hilde said, becoming angry. "That's his problem!"

"You are heartless!" Relena cried. "You don't deserve a man like him!" She turned and walked down the hall quickly and into the guestroom, then right back out with her contact case in her hand. "You ruined his life," she said as she passed Hilde. Heero opened the front door for Relena. Relena had nearly passed through when she turned around and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself you little child." She then turned and walked out completely. Heero looked at Hilde as tear appeared in her eyes.

"He left the force for you. He did everything for you," He said and shut the door. Hilde began to sob. 

__

In your world have meaning 

Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking 

Down this long distance line tonight.

"We have to find him. I think he's going to do something stupid," Relena cried to Heero. 

"We'll find him," Heero replied and put his arm around Relena's shoulder and then he helped her into their rent car. Heero ran to the other side and they drove to the nearest embassy for a phone book. 

****

"I think you've had enough, Duo," a bartending friend said to Duo as he guzzled another shot of liquor in front of him.

"I'll say when I've had enough," Duo slurred and slammed the shot glass down on the bar. "Now give me annnother now!"

"Seriously Duo, I've never seen you this way before. What the hell happened to you man? Did something happen in the business?"

"No!" Duo mumbled and ran his uneasy hands through his hair. "Where's my damn drink?" The door of the bar opened and two people entered and looked around until they saw the man they were looking for.

"Duo!" Relena cried when she saw him.

"I'll handle this," Heero said and put his hand on Relena's shoulder than passed by her. He walked up to Duo and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Come on, Duo. I think you've had enough. Let's go home."

"I'm not going back there. That's not my home anymore," Duo said angrily and pulled his shoulder from Heero's grip.

"Duo," Relena said gentle and walked up to him. "I know you're hurting right now, but I also know you're a strong man. You're a smart man who knows that what he's doing right now is not going to help anything." Duo looked up at Relena then back at the empty shot glass in front of him.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" he mumbled. Heero grabbed Duo from underneath the arms and looked up at the bartender.

"Bathroom's right over there," the tender said and Heero pulled the sick man over in that direction.

After regurgitating nearly everything he had eaten or drank Duo slumped down against the bathroom stall wall.

"Feel any better?" Heero asked. Duo moaned in reply. "Come on. I don't like leaving Relena alone too long." Duo stood up and wobbled his way out of the bar and to Heero and Relena's car.

"I'm sorry about this," he said and rubbed his dimples in the back seat. Relena turned and looked at him.

"We understand," Relena said calmly. 

"How did you know?" Duo asked and looked at Relena. She held up her contact lens case. "I left these at your house and when I went back we ran into someone." Duo nodded. 

"Is there still a spot in the Preventers open?" he asked.

"Of course there is for you," Relena said. "You always will."

"I'm glad, because I think I may want it once I sell the business here," Duo said. 

"Whatever you want, Duo. If you want a place to stay on Earth, I can arrange it," Relena said.

"Thank you, Relena. You've been my guardian angel lately," Duo sighed.

"It's the least I can do for the times you were mine," Relena smiled. 

__

I aint missing you… I can't lie to myself

There's a storm that's raging in my heart night.

Aint missing you

He took one last look at the house. A new family had just moved in to take over everything Duo had worked for. 

"Good bye Hilde," he said calmly and got into his truck. He slammed the door shut and turned the key and drove away from a life he had given everything he had known to. A shuttle was waiting to take him back to a place he was wanted and was loved at. 

"Earth was always beautiful…" Duo mumbled, then turned up the radio.

"And here's a song by request from a young woman to a man she's wishing was near her now. This is for you, Duo," the radio said. The song began, "Every time I think of you I always catch my breath…." 

****NOTE****

Aww! I know, it's so sad! It's my first Duo/Hilde fic and I made it a tearjerker! I know someone's not liking me right now…. I hope you guys liked it anyway though. It's the best song fic I think I've written. Don't kill me please…

Love,

Moony


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